Letter to my younger self...

To my 10 year old self:

I know it feels like the end of the world. I’m so sorry. Life showed you herself and you’re so young and so tender... you’re so tired of being bullied and making friends is really hard, now this! “Why me?!” You’re asking yourself. Lesego, it’s not your fault. It’s painful I know. Just know that you are perfect just as you are. You’re beautiful, smart and talented. Be kind to yourself.

To my 15 year old self:

Such a crucial age/time. Puberty and all the other nonsense. Feeling like you’re not enough - pressure to look and think a certain way. Confused because you’ve been violated. It’s not your fault! It feels like it can’t get any worse right now... sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it will get worse. This is why I need you to be strong, I need you to keep fighting. You are destined for greatness.

You’re not told enough but you’re beautiful. You have no idea how intelligent you are, you just need to work hard, find your passion (hard because even finding a reason to live is so draining.) Don’t stray away. The pursuit of happiness is not a delusion - happiness is what you make it... life is what you make it.

Life’s been cruel I know but there’s so much out there for you. Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself.

To my 19 year old self:

I wish I could hug you. You don’t need to try things you don’t want to just to fit in. Put that joint down, put that bottle down. Pick up your book... Those people you think are friends are probably going to hurt you so don’t give so much of yourself to them.

The real world is hard and you need to be at your best!

You love reading, stick with it. You love writing, perfect it. You love music - that can be a productive hobby. Do some sport. It won’t kill you. STOP LYING TO FIT IN!

Stay focused. Take care of yourself.

P.S boys ain’t shit!